Damon James wakes from a troubled sleep of hazy half-remembered dreams. He tries to calculate the time from the amount of light filtering into the room. He guesses it’s still early, but he might be wrong. The pills could be screwing up his sense of time. He turns over on his side and takes a one-eyed look at the clock radio — 8:47. It must be cloudy or raining out. He hopes that it’s raining. Something about the rain has always given him comfort — made him feel secure. On patrol in Vietnam, he had felt almost invisible in the rain — all sounds dampened, making it easier to move silently through the bush.
Damon stares through his left eye at the clock. He’s keenly aware of the seconds ticking away, knowing the alarm will sound at any time. No way his body can take that goddamn buzz. He reaches out, feels along the top of the radio until he finds the switch that shuts off the alarm, and slides it to the “off” position.
What day is it? Must be Saturday. He lies still as possible, and listens for the sound of rain, but hears nothing. He considers turning over and moving closer to Jenny — let her know how much he appreciates her being here, but he’s unable to overcome the inertia of the drugs that seem to press down on his entire body. He hopes he’ll soon be able to stop taking these pills that sap his energy, and leave him adrift in some kind of netherworld.
The biggest problem with being out of work has been finding something positive to lock his mind on. There’s no way he can think about his job, a subject that always brings on a feeling of helplessness and worry. The fucking job had brought on this nervous breakdown. What exactly was a nervous breakdown anyway? How do you recover? Is it possible to stay this way forever?
Damon considers going back to sleep, but he has to take a piss. So he quietly rolls out of bed, and walks into the bathroom. As he moves past the medicine cabinet, he catches his reflection in the mirror. He quickly throws open the cabinet door before the image can register on his brain. He washes quickly, and takes some things from the dirty clothes hamper. He dresses in the same clothes he’s worn for the last two days. On his way out of the bathroom, he lifts the shade on the window and peeks out. No rain, just gray clouds.
Damon makes his way downstairs, and into the kitchen. He fills the teakettle with water and puts it on the stove. He’s not hungry, but he really needs some coffee to lift him out of the drug haze. When he finishes his second cup, he scribbles a note to Jenny letting her know he’s gone to the woods for a walk, and then adds a postscript apologizing for being in such a helpless position. He promises to pull himself together, soon.
_____
When Damon reaches the dry creek bed, where he usually turns back, he decides to keep going. He does not want to go back home. After walking for another half-hour, he comes upon a clearing divided by a barbed-wire fence. The fence runs the length of the clearing, eventually disappearing into the tree line. There’s a sign on the fence that reads: “Cross At Your Own Risk”. In the distance, Damon can see a narrow river he’s never seen before — a river he’d never known was there. He feels strangely drawn to this mysterious no-name river. Ignoring the warning sign, he pushes down on the top strand of wire, and steps over to the other side.
As he gets closer to the river, Damon hears the sound of voices. He walks ahead until he sees five boys kneeling by the river and talking. They’re all wearing the same uniform — camouflage pants and T-shirts. They’re so intent on their conversation, they don’t notice Damon standing close by.
He overhears enough of their discussion to realize they are planning an attack on somebody, who is waiting on the other side of the river.
Playing “army”? Did kids still spend Saturdays in the woods playing this old game? It seemed almost incredible with all of the computerized action games that were available. Why leave their rooms to take on the “bad guys”, when they could blow away as many as they liked in the comfort of their own homes?
Something about these young boys engaged in imaginary battle feels him with an excitement he does not understand. It awakens, within him, some very strong feelings — a kind of lightness he hasn’t experienced for many years. Catching a glimpse of something from the past, back when everything seemed to be within reach.
Meanwhile one of the boys looks up and sees Damon standing on the slope — a graying old man with a curious expression on his face.
“Who is that?” the boy asks his friends. They all look up and fall suddenly silent, staring suspiciously at the stranger.
“Hello men,” says Damon in an unusually happy mood. “I overheard your plan. When are you going to start the attack?”
The boys remain silent, intimidated by the presence of an adult.
A crazy idea comes into Damon’s mind. He runs down the short slope toward the boys, who back up and look at each other, totally confused.
“Would you like me to join your team?”, asks Damon. We could all go down the river together, wade across, and come up on the enemy from behind.”
The boys smile at each other. What does this guy want? He seems really serious about the game.
Maybe they should take him up on the offer.
“Tran is over there…” the oldest boy says, “watching.”
Damon notices a real fear in the boy’s eyes — a familiar, glassy stare he’s seen before. But what really hits Damon is the voice — the despondent, weary voice of an older man.
“Is Tran that bad?” he asks.
“He knows where you’re gonna be.” says the kid.
“ESP huh? Well maybe we can give him a little surprise this time.” says Damon, feeling a sudden shiver ripple down his back.
_____
When they reach a spot in the river, where they can see the rocky bottom, Damon tells the boys to wait, while he wades across, and has a look around.
As soon as Damon enters the woods on the other side it begins to rain. The surroundings begin to change dramatically — the trees seem more exotic, as if they belong in a tropical climate. They also grow closer together, so that they overlap and form a canopy that blocks out most of the light. The foliage is lush — a deeper shade of green. What is it about this place that seems so familiar? Everything. The look. The smell. The heavy air that’s almost impossible to take into his lungs. And yet he feels more alive than he has in years — adrenalin rushing through his body — every muscle taut — every nerve on edge.
Then suddenly, he knows where he is — the “Hobo” woods — the goddamn “Hobo” woods. A twenty-six-man patrol had gone in, only one had walked out. Here was the land of ancient myths and unbroken solitude — the ultimate truth seen only in dreams. And there in front of him, covered in coral vine, an ominous stone Buddha surrounded by skulls polished to a shine by monsoon rains. He feels a horror tempered by a curious joy, and knows the hour he has waited on for forty years, has finally arrived — wrapped in a glory that is at once poetic and cruel.
Now that death was near, all he could think of was the sweet revenge against life — the people, the conversations, the apathy and emptiness that had always surrounded him. Triumphant at last — back here in this remote land where his soul had always been — a place that existed apart from normal, everyday life. He had somehow entered an ancient world beyond boundaries, and for that, he would pay the price.
Damon felt the explosive impact of a bullet against his chest. For a split second, he saw the vacant, soulless eyes, and scarred face of Tran, who had been waiting patiently these many years.
Sergeant Damon James slumps against the base of a tree, covered by the shadow of an empty religious icon. He lowers his head and does not raise it again.
ROBERT JOHNSON
TAMPA RED
DUANE ALLMAN
MIKE BLOOMFIELD
FREDDIE KING
BONNIE RAITT
DAVID GILMOUR
SONNY LANDRETH
ROBBEN FORD
WES MONTGOMERY
ALLMAN BROTHERS
THE BAND
PAUL BUTTERFIELD BLUES BAND
PINK FLOYD
THE POGUES
