Angel sat down opposite him. He read intently, ignoring his food. She had never known a man who could get so lost in a newspaper, not just the sports pages, but all of it. She nibbled at a Ryvita and enjoyed looking at him. He was quiet and still, but full of a shut-in energy which filled her tiny kitchen. It was a month since he�d moved in and she still had that pinch-me-I�m-dreaming feeling.
She sipped at black coffee, gleefully hugging the dark thrill of him to herself. Mornings were brilliant until he shrugged into his jacket, �Must rush�, and left her twice as alone as she had ever been before he came to stay. She froze inside when the front door slammed and the flat emptied of him, but warmed again when, like sunlight sparkling through glass, the thought came that he would be back tonight, every night, and always.
She had told Janine about her sunshine feeling. �Christ,� Janine said. �You look like the kid who�s just found out that there is a Santa after all.� She had pinched Angel�s cheek hard. �That�s to remind you, pet lamb � there�s no Santa, no free lunches, no such thing as a man for always. And if you don�t believe me, ask his wife.� Angel had laughed. �Ask her what? Davy says you can only learn anything from winners. Maybe it�s her should be asking me.�
Angel smiled into her coffee mug. Ghostly steam prickled her skin. She could always rely on Janine to put a damper on things, but she could never be angry with her for long. Janine was like a big sister and it was only natural that she should be jealous because face it, and no harm to her, Janine was getting past it: twenty-seven and she�d missed the boat. You only had to see her with the customers at the club to know that. She was OK looking, but her smile never made it to her eyes, and everything about her screamed, �Been there, done it, got the tee-shirt and I wonder why I ever bothered.�
Davy still wasn�t eating. He might not say much of a morning, but he usually ate. Nerves, she decided; his wife played on them like a violin. She was never off the mobile: Bleep, bleep, Madame calling: �Little David�s had another attack.� �Little David�s on the nebuliser. He wants his Daddy.� �Little David�s been taken into hospital.� It was pathetic to use the boy to keep the man, but Davy fell for it every time. Christ, half the kids on the estate had asthma and nobody made all this fuss.
�Davy, your breakfast is getting cold. You should eat something.� A hand appeared from behind the newspaper, fumbled for a fork, and speared a crispy curl of bacon.
�Have you worked out what you�re going to say to her yet?�
The hand put down the fork and turned another page.
�Davy.�
He lowered the paper and gave her his ask-me-no-questions stare, all blue and cold. He didn�t like being pushed about his wife; he always said he could handle her without any help, but he had been tense all week and Angel knew that he needed some support. She smiled into his eyes and nibbled at a corner of her Ryvita.
�The thing is, Davy, the longer you let her drag things out, the harder it is for all of us. She has to face reality. The finances��
He folded his paper shut with a snap. �I�m working on it.� He glanced at his watch and in one smooth movement was up on his feet and into his jacket. �Must rush.�
Angel followed him along the lobby. At the door, she leaned into him and teased her fingers across his chest. �Luck, Davy. Give little Davy a kiss from me.� She nuzzled her cheek against his. �And here�s one for Daddy David.� But he was already half way out the door. She listened to his feet clattering down the stairs, but before the emptiness of the flat could chill her, his voice floated up from the landing below. �See you, Angel.�
Her sunshine feeling came flooding back and she almost skipped along to the living room. The curtain across the recess was still drawn.
�Benny!� she cried sharply. � It�s time to get up!�
She pulled the curtain aside. Benny lay curled like a hedgehog in the corner of the set-in bed. The stench of stale urine caught at her throat and made her eyes water. Benny�s blue eyes were hot with shame.
�I woke up needing, but he was still here, and I waited and waited and then I couldn�t help it.� His fluting voice threatened tears. �Why do I have to keep out of the way until he�s gone?�
She tousled his hair. �It�s just until he gets used to you, Benny. He�s upset because he misses his own little boy, but he likes you really.�
She stripped his bed and tossed his sheets on the floor. �Right. Up you get.�
�I�m cold.�
�No wonder, lying in that. For God�s sake, you�re big enough to change your own bed.�
�I can�t reach the shelf with the sheets!�
Small hands swiped at her in sudden rage. She gripped his wrists in one hand and fended him off with the other. �Don�t you start on me this morning, Benny. I�m in a hurry. Now run through to the kitchen. The oven�s on to give us a heat.�
She gathered up his school uniform from the bottom of the bed and bustled along the hall. Benny, teeth chattering, was already warming the backs of his legs at the oven door. He smelled sour.
�Right. Jammies off.�
She held a washcloth under the hot tap until it steamed. Benny tried to escape but she held him steady while she flicked the cloth over his face and bottom. �Just a lick and a promise, son. Now get dressed.�
She hurried to her bedroom. It was warm and frowsty with the smells of the night before; Angel�s eyelids drooped and her mouth dried as she breathed in the memory. That wife of Davy�s should have taken better care of him; you didn�t come across too many like him in a lifetime. Her sunshine feeling blazed and she pirhouetted the few steps to her wardrobe. �Winner-takes-all,� she hummed, �and Madame Davy loses. How does it feel, Ma�am?�
Angel raked through her wardrobe for her sweatshirt and jeans. Her hand brushed against her waitress uniform, a short black satin skirt and a white scoop neck blouse with drawstrings. The customers were always trying to loosen those strings for a laugh. It drove Janine crazy and she kept hers tied in a double knot. Angel grinned. That was no way to earn tips. She drew her finger down the satin skirt with a sigh of pleasure. That skirt always made her feel good about herself.
Once she had seen an actress on TV explaining how she managed to play sex scenes convincingly. The actress said she wore something which put her in the mood � just like me and my wee black skirt, Angel thought � and let sensual thoughts flow into every part of her body. Then she pictured the Esso tiger, all sex and fur in slow motion and totally irresistible. The actress said that tiger walking was what gave her a sex aura.
Angle had practised tiger walking and found that it worked. When she was clearing tables at the club, the other waitresses might as well disappear into thin air as far as the customers were concerned. She had even improved the technique. Whenever she caught the eye of someone she liked, she sent the tiger packing and filled her head with other pictures � tangled sheets and arched backs and skin all sheeny with sweat. It never failed to draw men close.
Angel pulled her sweatshirt over her head. She hadn�t needed that trick with Davy. The pictures had come by themselves, and she could tell that the same film was running in his mind. She hadn�t believed in love at first sight until then.
She dragged a comb through her hair, remembering. �See you outside,� was all he�d said. He was waiting in the car park at closing time. �Get in,� he said, his voice all tight, and pointed to his car. He was so keen that he didn�t even ask her name before he jumped on her bones. �Night, sweet angel,� he said when he drove off. She�d been Angel ever since. Smiling, she went back to the kitchen.
�Benny!� The boy was kneeling on the kitchen chair with his shirt flapping open, cramming Davy�s leftovers into his mouth. Yellow egg yolk dripped off his chin on to his vest. �Benny! I told you to get dressed!� She swung him off the chair and snatched a cold bacon rasher from his hand.
�Mum, I�m starving!�
�Don�t start! Janine�ll give you something to eat. She�s taking you to school today.�
She scrubbed so hard at his face that he headbutted her in protest. She sighed, wishing that he were old enough to understand that she had his best interests at heart.
She had him ready and across the landing to Janine�s flat in minutes. Janine, tousled and bleary-eyed, answered her knock and smiled crookedly down at Benny. �Come in, wee man. Donna�s by the fire.� Benny slipped past her and she turned to Angel.
�So what�s the big mystery, Lizzie?�
Angel hesitated. She had stopped telling Janine about Davy since he�d moved in. Janine could arch her eyebrows right up into her shaggy perm and let you know everything that was on her mind without saying a word. She had taken against Davy from the start. �Another Thursday night stud, Lizzie, having a night off from the wife. Christ, you�ve been through this before. They�re all the same. False names, false smiles, false teeth half of them, all singing the same song: �She doesn�t understand me.� A bunch of clapped out stallions prancing for the fillies, all talk and no action and home to the missus by midnight. And if by some miracle they should score, it�s home to the missus full of guilt and offering to paper the living room for her. So don�t waste your time waiting for him to reappear.�
But he had come back, week after week, and still Janine wouldn�t believe he was different.
Angel studied Janine�s mood. She could be vicious when she liked. It was one of the reasons she wasn�t as well liked as Angel. As if Davy could be called clapped out! He was years younger than the workmen who came into the club! As for false smiles, he never smiled unless he meant it. And he didn�t lie either. He had even been honest about being married. Which had made Janine laugh. �Aye, right. Everything�s hunky-dory then. It�s just his wife he lies to.�
The trouble with Janine was that she didn�t believe that Angel could win because she herself never had. She had been married less than a year when her husband walked out. Janine said it was because he wasn�t happy about the baby coming. Angel, watching her friend fish her cigarettes out of her pocket, reckoned the rattiness of her dressing gown had more to do with it. Still, a thing like that was bound to make a person bitter.
Janine lit up and Angel�s irritation died. She was too full of sunshine to be sour this morning.
�No big mystery, Janine. I�m off to the hairdresser. Davy�s going to tell his wife that he�s getting a legal separation. I�ve told him he�s got to get his finances sorted out. And I�m planning a wee celebration when he gets home.�
�Oh, aye. I thought you said he was going to Yorkhill Hospital to collect his wee boy and take him home?�
�He is. But she�ll be there too. He�ll tell her then.�
�At Yorkhill? That�s nice. I can just see them on either side of the wee man�s bed talking it over. Never mind, Davy boy�ll be in the right place if the missus decides to stick a knife in him. And the kid�ll love it.�
�Janine, he�d never say anything in front of the boy. He�s too sensitive for that.�
�Is he? I hadn�t noticed. So what�s the deal, Lizzie? She swaps her big house In Rouken Glen for your wee flat with the damp patches artistically arranged and the underfloor heating system that�s too dear to run? Or will he be sensitive and give her and the boy the house and move in here permanently?�
�I�ve asked you a dozen times to call me Angel, Janine. And in case you haven�t noticed, he has moved in here.�
�Aye, right. And loving every minute of it.�
�We�ll get something better when his house is divided up. Half to her and half to him. I�ve said that�s ok with me - �
Janine swallowed smoke and choked. �Oh, that�s decent of you. She�ll be falling all over herself to be fair with you as well, I expect.�
Angel hid her anger and wondered why Janine couldn�t just wish her luck. Did she know how cheeky her eyebrows were? But she couldn�t afford to quarrel with her right now.
�Janine, will you mind Benny after school for me?�
Janine flicked ash on the stairs. �Sure, Lizzie.�
�Right, I�m away then.�
She arrived at the hairdresser panting but on time. The place was expensive, but she had the gas bill money in an envelope and the �20 she�d lifted from Davy�s wallet the night before. She�d earned it.
�Blonde highlights, is it? What shade would you like?�
Angel studied the tufts of hair on the shade chart. Davy�s wife was fair brown with sun streaks. Not exactly earthshaking. Angel reckoned she could do better than that. �Platinum Dream,� she said and lay back to have her hair washed.
She would have died rather than admit it, but sometimes Janine shook her confidence: she never had a good word to say for Davy, and sometimes she sided with his wife. It was ridiculous because she didn�t even know the woman. All the same, she harped on about her: �Tell me this, Lizzie. If she�s such a dreary dowdy cow, how come Davy, who could have his pick, married her? And if he�s so wonderful, how come she�s always nagging and driving him out of the house?�
Angel always had the same answer ready: �Tell me this, Janine. If she�s so great, what�s he doing sniffing round me?� But secretly, she worried. She�d invented the nagging and the dowdy since wives were all much of a piece, but in fact she had no idea what the trouble was between Davy and his wife because Davy was too loyal to moan about her. �Look,� he said when she pressed him for the full story, �I don�t talk to her about you, and I don�t talk to you about her. Fair enough?�
Angel caught herself glaring in the mirror. �Are you all right?� the stylist asked. Angel managed a smile before sinking back into her thoughts. Davy�s wife had come close to souring her whole relationship with Davy. Those first Thursday nights with him had been a nightmare, what with Janine banging on about his wife and Davy refusing to discuss her at all. The woman had haunted her. Sometimes, out there in the car park, she imagined Madame�s ghostly presence in the back seat, giving her and Davy the cold eye. The thought had made her go at Davy like a wild thing, as if Madame could actually see what her man was like when he had a real woman to play with. But when Davy dropped her at the corner of her street and she was once again alone with Benny, she fretted over what he did with his wife the other six nights of the week. Sometimes she thought she would go mad.
Worst of all were the nights when Davy didn�t show up. The excuse was always his son: �I had to drive David to a birthday party� or David had an attack and wanted me with him.� She hadn�t believed him. What man gives up the best sex he ever had in his life for a kid? Why couldn�t Madame look after him? She had complained more than once to Davy, but all he did was stay away for weeks until she was terrified that she would never see him again. Every time it happened, Janine�s eyebrows went soaring and Angel, dying inside, would say, �He�ll be back.�
And he always was. Angel sat rigid while the hairdresser cut and snipped. And when he did, it was always like that first Thursday. Sometimes she didn�t see him come in, but she would feel his eyes on her back, his heat across the room, and when she turned, the same shock of pleasure as the first time. Exactly the same, every time. She would suffer endless hours of restless longing for the end of her shift when she could go outside and find him in his car with the door open and himself all unzipped and ready. �Get busy, sweet Angel.� She had never known anyone as passionate as Davy. �Thursdays are the only days I�m alive,� she told Janine. �I�m dead Friday to Wednesday. Him and me, we�re two of a kind. I wish every night was Thursday.� Janine hadn�t been impressed, and neither had Davy when she said something like it to him. His face had gone very still. �I will never leave my son,� he said. Later, alone in her flat, she had lain awake in bed, chewing the corner of her pillow, trying to believe that it was only his son who kept him at home.
He had stayed away for three Thurdays after that. �He�s not getting away with this,� she swore. �Not again.� And when he did show up at last, she ignored him. He didn�t try to talk her round; he just finished his drink and walked out. He didn�t even look back once. She had run after him, slipping and slithering across wet gravel. He had pulled her into the shadow of a hedge at the back of the car park and made her go down on her knees to him right there and then. After, she had clung to his thighs. �Did you miss me, Davy?� and then, �Would she do this for you, Davy? Would she?� He had flicked raindrops off the hedge on to her upturned face and laughed. �Not her style, sweet Angel. Not her style at all.� It was the first time he had ever said a word against Madame. She hadn�t been able to keep that one from Janine.
�See what I mean, Janine? We�re two of a kind. We belong together.�
�Oh, aye, right. Two of a kind,� Janine had said when she fetched Angel a spare pair of tights from her locker. �I suppose his knees are all grazed as well.�
Angel smirked at the mirror. Poor Janine: telling her about love and passion was like describing colours to a blind man.
The hairdresser touched her shoulder. �I said, �Would you like to move under the heat lamps now?� Angel rose and was startled by a tiny clicking in her ears. She glanced at her reflection and saw that strands of her hair had been threaded through dozens of little white plastic rectangles. She hadn�t even noticed it being done. The stylist lowered the red lamps and left her to stew.
Angel admired her platinum streaks. They were drying to a lovely colour, a lot splashier than Madame�s from what she�d seen of her. She had gone out to Rouken Glen once, just to see the competition, and stood opposite Davy�s house. Her luck had been in. Madame had appeared on the long sweep of the driveway and Angel�s sunshine feeling had exploded into super nova. The woman was no competition at all: small, no bust to speak of, a pale face like a china doll�s, and an awful plain dresser. No wonder Davy had strayed. It was only the boy keeping him at home after all.
She had hardly given Madame a thought after that, but she remembered the house with its row of diamond leaded windows and its stone steps leading down to a garden as big as a playing field. Benny would think he�d died and gone to heaven in a place like that. Increasingly, the house made Angel angry. The skinny wee bitch in the pink frock couldn�t even be bothered to keep her man happy, but she was sitting pretty with her gold bracelets and earrings and a lawn like velvet while Angel had to rough it. The anger grew until her days were dark with it. Madame might have the fittings which went with Davy, but she shouldn�t be allowed to sleep easy, not when Angel couldn�t. Barry had come to mind. He was a bouncer at the club and was daft about Angel and had been only too happy to help out. One phone call and Madame knew in glorious technicolour what her darling Davy was up to in the car park.
Angel grinned at the memory. The truth was always better out than in, and in the long run, it was best that they all knew where they stood. It had all worked out better than she had hoped. Davy had turned up at her door at three in the morning. �I�ve left her,� was all he said. Madame must have made him choose, Angel reckoned, and Davy wouldn�t give Angel up. And from that moment on, every night had been Thursday night.
Angel noticed that the heat lamps were bringing her face out in blotches. They had better be gone by the time Davy got home. She would have to be at her best for him. He always needed perked up after a session with Madame. He never said much, but you didn�t have to be a rocket scientist to imagine how mother and son ganged up on him: �Daddy come home. Daddy come home.�
Angel had boxed clever. She was always calm and wise and reassuring, making sure he kept things in perspective. �They get over it, Davy. Divorce upsets kids at first, but once they catch on that Dad�s left Mum, not them, they settle down to it. Half the kids on the estate have no dads and they get by. Some of them even like having two homes to go to. And wee Davy will always be welcome here. Benny and him could be friends. They�d have a great time and I�d look after him as if he was my own.�
He never did bring Davy for a visit and Angel knew who was to blame for that. �You know, you can make her let you have him here. You�re his Dad. You�ve got rights. She�s using that boy � �
He has looked hard at her, warning her off. �She�s not like that. I can see David whenever I want.�
Angel had to bite her tongue then. Sure, he could see his kid whenever he wanted, so long as it was at Rouken Glen. Daddy come home. Daddy come home. Surely he could see her game?
Angel paid for her hair and stepped into the coolness of the street. She let the breeze fan at her cheeks for a moment and then headed for the off-license. She needed something fizzy for the celebration. A couple of bottles of spumante would have to do until the finances were sorted and the champagne days arrived. On impulse, she stopped at a florist�s and bought a dried flower arrangement. She�d seen big copper bowls of them on Madame�s windowsills. They were a nice touch.
At home, she tidied up for Davy. She put the flowers in a milk jug on the kitchen table, and two wine glasses polished diamond bright beside it. Then she dressed up in Davy�s favourite, her black shift with the Chinese collar and the red piping, and her black stilettos. She made up her face with two coats of everything for staying power, and began working on her mood: Esso tiger, sex and fur in slow, slow motion. She squirmed with anticipation as she tiger walked to the kitchen and wondered how Madame was taking the news. Probably having a hissy fit, and the brat too.
She sat at the table all afternoon and fiddled with the flowers and the wine glasses to keep her mind off the scene at Rouken Glen. Parched petals crumbled off the stems with a dry rustle. Davy was taking his time. Madame must be making a grandstand play. Or maybe the boy had had another attack. She wouldn�t put it past him.
At teatime, Janine knocked at the door. �Benny wants to know if he can come home now.� Her eye fell on the litter of petals on the table. �Oh, Lizzie. Has he not come back then?�
�He�ll be here. Just keep Benny out of the way, will you?� Janine said nothing. For once, even her eyebrows were quiet.
It was late evening before he showed up. Angel bit her lip with relief when she heard his feet on the stairs. She had been afraid that the brat had won after all. She leapt to her feet and smoothed the creases out of her dress, careful not too look too happy. Davy was bound to be upset. He mustn�t seem too pleased with herself. She stepped into his arms as soon as he came in the door. As always, her heart turned over at the feel and smell of him. He staggered and almost fell. Angel smiled. He was as drunk as a lord. Poor sod. It must have been a very hard session with Madame.
�How�s wee Davy?� she said softly. �Is he all right?�
Davy nodded. �He�s safe home.� He lurched to the table and clutched at it for support.
�Oh, that�s great, Davy. I�ve been worrying about him all day.�
He swayed back on his heels and stared at the flowers and glasses. She rubbed his back gently. �You�re all tensed up. Would you like a wee drink?�
She raked through the kitchen drawer for a corkscrew and picked at the foil on the bottle. He slumped into a chair and leaned over the table with his head in his hands. Angel pooped the cork and smiled sympathetically. She could imagine how he felt � head bursting and Madame tapping like Riverdance on his brain.
�Did Jenny take it hard then?�
She watched him struggle to focus on her. �What?�
�Jenny. Did she take it awful hard? The separation?�
His face froze into ask-me-no-questions, but he wasn�t getting away with it this time.
�Jenny. Did she give you a hard time?�
He grinned unpleasantly. �Oh,yes, she did.� He nodded once, and again, and then he couldn�t seem to stop talking. �She certainly did.� He frowned and the grin thinned to a hard line. �Doesn�t matter what I say, she won�t take me back. I�ve practically gone down on my knees to her, but she won�t change her mind.� His eye travelled up and down Angel�s black satin as though he�d never seen it before. �She says that you and I deserve one another.� He shrugged helplessly. �Makes no sense, me and Jen splitting up over a slag like you. No sense �� He tailed off into baffled silence.
Angel�s temper erupted. �Did Jenny call me that? Who does she -�
Davy pushed his hair out of his eyes and glared. �What�s this �Jenny�?� he said slowly. He seized a corner of the table and heaved. Flowers and fizz splattered on the floor.
�You keep my wife�s name out of your dirty mouth. OK?� He heaved again and the table crashed against a wall. �OK?�
ELIZABETH TAYLOR
HOMER
ALICE MUNRO
