It finally looks as though I am making my last journey for which I am eternally grateful. I have traveled to so many places and seen more in my lifetime than I ever expected and now it is ending. The vessel I have been traveling in is beyond repair now and I know I will be lucky if I make it much longer. I tried to contact some of the others out there but my communication system is not working as it should work and I am not sure if I can generate the power needed even if I can get it working just a little bit. Even then, would I be able to get a message out to let others know what is happening? Probably not. There are so many things going wrong that I am not sure if it would matter or if anyone would be able to make it in time to help.
When my journey started, I traveled sometimes in perilous areas avoiding clashes with those forces, which wanted to stop me and ended my voyage forever. At that time, I learned what I needed to do and still going beyond that need, reached even further than my next goal. During this early time, my travels were limited; however, I was preparing myself for a journey that not even I had expected, a journey that would become not only my greatest adventure but my last one too.
Though I had used the vessel for many years, I felt that it still had what I needed to continue making the next and most important journey. As with all journeys, I started fresh and strong and my entire future lay ahead of me, knowing how it will end just not when. Even then, I started this leg of my journey with a spirit of wonder and awe of what I was to come across.
Then as I traveled, I started going further than others had ever dared to go, pushing the vessel to limits that it was not meant to exceed and still I pressed onward. With every day that went by, the vessel took the toll and the damage went unnoticed; the journey continued.
As time went by, the toll started showing and the vessel was not handling as well as it had in the past, no longer was it going unnoticed as it was now very apparent that there was something wrong. There were some repairs made to fix what could be, while patching others so the vessel could continue on its journey. Even with the repairs, the vessel was listing badly and it became obvious that it was only a matter of time before the final leg of the journey would end. Now I am not sure how much longer I can hold out.
I am so tired I do not know if I even want to try. I know I should for the sake of my family and friends but I do not have the means to repair the vessel and many of its systems are shutting down. My communication is back however, it is running on minimal power and I can only transmit short messages. The others must be close by to hear it as it falters and is lost otherwise. I know that the others have heard, as they are all close by; however, they have made the remark that there may not be anything that they can do to help as my vessel has gone too far to salvage and is now beyond repair. Some have said that they think they could maybe patch it and it will last a little while longer but it would never be the same again. Still I am not sure how long the repairs would last.
It is slipping away, I can feel it, and the pulse of the vessel is starting to fade. Now that I can feel this, I know I am in trouble; it is getting hard to hang on and control. I can hear the panic from those that are close by; some of my very close comrades have also tried to contact me and I was able to communicate a little of what I am doing and how I felt. Still it was very difficult with my communication still having problems and I could not always convey to them what I wanted to. I feel helpless sometimes and I know that the time is getting closer to the end. I know there is nothing I can do to stop the inevitable. I find myself passing out from exhaustion as it is becoming very taxing as I try to control the vessel now. I need rest and I take it whenever I can which worries the others as they lose contact with me and they are unsure of where I am; however, I take it and embrace the rest that I need so much and the darkness comes to me even as I speak.
I am not sure how long it has been; however, I am sure of the direction; it is still unchanged and I drift between light and darkness. I still struggle with the vessel to get it to do what I need. I am sure now of the destination, outcome of what is happening, and where I am going. I have never given in to any thing during my travels and I just cannot seem to give in to my true destiny now. Not without a fight! I have hope as I always had in the past that the vessel will pull through and allow my voyage to continue, the power is still coming and going and it feels like I might have the ability to overcome the problems that I am facing. I go through the motions and I try to pull the vessel back to another course and I feel the power coming back even in fleeting moments as I work towards my goal. Then as quickly as it comes, it fades away, the vessel again pulls back to the course that was laid-in so long ago, and still I struggle.
The line was crossed where returning to where I came from would now be impossible and I should not struggle but brace myself for the last leg of the journey. The vessel seems to be gaining speed towards its goal, where power is no longer needed; so I conserve the last of it so that I can make contact with the others. I can feel it; the vessel shaking as it approaches the destination that it is heading for, every fiber of my being feels the strangeness of the approaching port that the vessel will finally end its journey. I must conserve the power, to hoard it until I know I can make contact with the others. They are trying to find a way to save the vessel. I must hold on to reach out and find the strength to tell them what they need to know, even though I am sure that they are aware of what is happening by now. Again, I start to struggle out of habit, I realize the power will wisp away to nothing if I continue and then I feel how tired I am, and I stop. Will I be able to make it and let them know? I must, I know I must and the twilight again comes, then darkness!
I have heard them now and I cannot tell them what I know, my vessel is finished, the power is gone and all hope that I may have had is gone. They must not think that it was bad even though the pain of my struggle is probably evident to them. I do not want the others to worry as even through the vessel will not make it through the night and my voyage is ending, all will end well.
I know that I will finally be free of the bondage that has held me for many years. My struggle is over and I can say I am going to take the rest I have worked towards and need, as my soul is ready. I end my voyage with no remorse, no regrets knowing that there is not one place left for me to go, except to head one final time towards home. I thank everyone for allowing me to embrace life for what it is and I pray that you will embrace your own before your journey ends on this one-way road to home, to your destiny. Now for the final time, I let go!
MICHAEL CRICHTON
ANNE RICE
STEPHEN KING
JAMES PATTERSON
JOHN GRISHAM
