CLICK TITLES TO LINK TO EACH SITEGENRE BENDINGNew section of the site where I discuss my top 10 films from various genres and invite you to submit your own favourites. Current topic, my top 10 sexiest film moments.FILM PROFILESProfiles of my favourite directors and actors from the international film scene, including Lars Von Trier, Larry Clark, Todd Solondz, Neil LaBute etc. This section is regularly updated and will evolve into an archive. Brilliant, diverse, well-designed site which features original writing on music, film and opera. Interviews - with everyone from Jamie Cullum to Stephen Fry, Gary Numan to the Indigo Girls. And they do it all for free. Read showcased writer, Graham Rae's interview with veteran cinema projectionist, Max Dunbar New site on which you answer 20 questions that 'define your personality,' from which it works out what films you would probably like. For me, it suggested 'Requiem for a Dream' (which I'd seen and loved), 'Pi' (which I'd seen and hated) then sent me off to watch Fellini's 'Satyricon.' I'll keep you posted Great site which features online, the opening 8 minutes of a selection of films, including nominations for the Sundance Film Festival and the soon to be released Hollywood adaptation of Dennis Potter's 'The Singing Detective.' Also vidoes, tv clips and music videos. Perfect for rainy Sunday afternoons. EDWARD FURLONGClick title to visit the official Edward Furlong website; to read director, John Waters, interview with Furlong, click here; for The Face magazine interview with Furlong, click here or to view his previous films on Amazon, click hereMICKEY ROURKEClick title for Guardian Unlimited profile of Mickey Rourke; to read Sanjiv Bhattacharya's interview with Rourke, click here; for excellent Salon.com article on Rourke, click here or to view his previous films on Amazon, click here WILLEM DAFOEClick title to visit the fansite of 'Auto Focus' star, Willem Dafoe; for an interview with the actor on the Guardian Unlimited website, click here; for the official website of Dafoe's drama project, The Wooster Group, click here or to view his previous films on Amazon, click hereMAGGIE GYLLENHAALClick title to visit the fansite of 'Secretary' star, Maggie Gyllenhaal; for filmography and related links, click here; for a short interview with the actress regarding her role in 'Secretary,' click here or for her previous films on Amazon, click here 'YOUNG ADAM' TRAILERClick title to view the trailer for 'Young Adam' along with archive of interviews with actor, Ewan McGregor; to read review of the film on the IO Film website, click here; for a quiz that helps you discover what Ewan McGregor character you are, click here or the buy Trocchi's classic novel on Amazon, click here DAN'S SCREENSHOTS MOVIE QUIZThis has the be the most difficult film quiz on the web. Dan's Screenshots Movie Quiz puts four stills from films on the site every Sunday, and you e.mail your answers. At the end of each month, the player with the highest score is notified and included on the Roll of Honour. Such Kudos. Damned impossible though. Have a go and prove me wrong by clicking image. The UK Film Council is about to release the world's first simultaneous online and theatrical premier of the film 'This is Not a Love Song.' On Friday 5 September, the new film, written by Simon Beaufoy of 'The Full Monty' fame and directed by Billie Eltringham (The Darkest Light) recieves its world premier. The film will be available to download in various file sizes and will also be streamed online, simultaneously being streamed and released in selected cinemas across the country. To pre-register to view the film, click the image. Click title to visit the original Spike Jonze website; to watch an interview with Jonze, filmed and deconstructed by Jonze himself on the Atom Films website, click here; for details of Jonze's prodigious music video output, click here or for 'Being John Malkovich on Amazon, click here. KILL BILL TRAILERClick title to visit the official website for Quinten Tarantino's long awaited fourth film, 'Kill Bill' and watch trailer; to find out more about the film on the website of star, Uma Thurman, click here; to listen to the soundtracks and read the full scripts for his previous films - Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs and Jackie Brown, click here or for Tarantino films on Amazon, click here. More Tarantino-related sites can be found below. Click title to visit the official website of the wonderful, Chloe Sevigny - star of 'Boys Don't Cry,' 'Kids,' 'Party Monster' and once it gets past the censor, Vincent Gallo's 'The Brown Bear,' or to view films by her on Amazon, click here Click title to view the trailer and visit the official website of 'Party Monster' - the story of Michael Alig, a New York party organizer, whose lifestyle nosedived after he boasted on television that he had killed his drug dealer and roommate, Angel Melendez. To read 2003 interview with Alig, on the Michael Alig Club Kids official website, click here or to view 'Disco Bloodbath', the book on which the film was based, on Amazon, click here Click title to visit Indie Kind website - the most comprehensive Steve Buscemi fan site of the web - full of news, reviews, interviews, 100s of photos, sounds, wallpaper, screensavers, chat, message board & more, or to view some of Buscemi's films on Amazon, click here To view trailer for 'All the Real Girls' on official film website, click title; to read interview with director, David Gordon-Green on Guardian Unlimited, click here; to read article on Gordon-Green's debut, the wonderful 'George Washington' on the BFI website, click here or for DVD of 'George Washington' on Amazon, click here To read interview with 'Igby Goes Down' director, Burr Speers on WGA.ORG, click title, or for interviews with the director and cast of 'Igby Goes Down,' click here Click title to visit the Original Ryan Phillippe homepage for information and clips relating to the pouty actor, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click here Click title to visit Blumquarters, a fun and informative website dedicated to the handsomely rubbery-faced actor, Jeff Goldblum, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click here Click title to visit Culkin online, the unofficial website of 'Igby Goes Down' star, Kieran Culkin, or for available DVD's of his films on Amazon, click here Click title to visit actor Jake Gyllenhaal's (Donnie Darko) official place in cyberspace, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click here
Click title for interview with director, Michael Cuesta (Six Feet Under) on HBO, or for 'Six Feet Under' DVD on Amazon, click here
Click title to visit Coxian.com, the official website of Scottish actor, Brian Cox, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click here
Click title to visit completely unofficial website of L.I.E star, Paul Franklin Dano, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click here
Click title to visit fun, informative, colourful, unnofficial Jack Nicholson website, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click here. Or for all the 'A Few Good Men' fans out there, click here for irritatingly amusing hoax phone call mp3
Click title to read Time Europe article on the Latin New Wave in film-making, or to view relevant DVD's on Amazon, click here
Click title to visit official website of the stunning Mexican film, 'Amores Perros,' or to view on Amazon, click here
To read interviews with 'Dirty Pretty Things' director, Stephen Frears, and stars, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Audrey Tatou, click title, or for classic Stephen Frears on Amazon, click here TRIGGER STREETClick title to view, review and submit short films on Kevin Spacey's screenplay forum, Trigger Street, or to view DVD's by Spacey on Amazon, click here JOHN LENNON AND YOKO ONO'S FILMSClick title for excellent article which attempts to list all known privately produced films and guest film appearances by John Lennon and Yoko Ono from the year in which they met, 1966, through to the close of their experimental period in 1972 INDIE FILM POLLClick title to vote for your favourite independent film of all time on IMDB film website. Dr Strangelove is currently number one. You can also vote for your 10 worst independent films. PEDRO ALMODOVARClick title to visit Almodovarlandia, the virtual country where you will find information on the Spanish Director Pedro Almod�var and his films, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click hereNEIL LaBUTEClick title to read Movie Poop Shoot interview and profile of writer and director, Neil LaBute (The Business of Strangers), or for more from LaBute on Amazon, click here PULP FICTION QUIZClick title to take quiz to discover which character from 'Pulp Fiction' you are
IRREVERSIBLETo read iofilm.com interview about 'Irreversible' with director, Gaspar Noe, click title, or to read reviews or buy the DVD on Amazon, click hereVINCENT CASSELTo read Irreversible star, and real life husband of Monica Bellucci, Vincent Cassel's Guardian Unlimited interview with Stuart Jeffries, click title, or for reviews of his first film 'La Haine' on Amazon, click hereQUINTEN TARANTINOClick title to visit godamongdirectors Tarantino pages, with comprehensive links to all things Tarantino, or to view available DVD's on Amazon, click hereCAMEO CINEMA, EDINBURGHClick title for history and viewing times of legendary Edinburgh cinema, the Cameo. Claims to fame include Orson Welles giving the first Festival Celebrity lecture there in 1953, Sean Connery opening the first cinema bar in Edinburgh there in 1963. Great wee cinema that provides quality non-mainstream cinema to the Edinburgh public and tourists alikeEDINBURGH FILM FESTIVALClick title for official website of the Edinburgh Film Festival. Keep up to date with latest news on this year's Festival, submit films, study last year's programme or even apply for a jobFILMHOUSE, EDINBURGHRead about all the current and forthcoming cinematic treats on offer at Edinburgh's Filmhouse. If that whets your whistle, get yourself along there, join Edinburgh Film Guild, go for nachos in the bar, catch up with the latest exhibition or pop along on the 2nd Sunday of each month for the impossibly hard film quizTHE FILM FACTORYClick title for The Film Factory website, where you can view trailers for current and forthcoming films, plus access large archive of trailers. Also, free registration for regular updates and free screenings at local UCI cinemas throughout the UK FILM FOURClick title for Film Four's excellent, recently revamped website, which includes over 10,000 film reviews, 100,000 filmographies, 150 short films (which you can rate online) plus clips, regular trailers, competitions and polls ESSENTIAL FILMS | |
 Igby (Kieran Culkin) is the 17-year-old slacker offspring of a family that put the dis in dysfunctional. In his own words, he is �drowning in assholes.� The man he calls father (Bill Pullman) is a sectioned schizophrenic, his mother (Susan Sarandon), is devoid of maternal instincts and hopelessly addicted to prescription drugs and his brother, Oliver (Ryan Philippe) is a sociopathically ambitious college boy whose head is stuck firmly up his own arse. Stemming from his father�s first nervous breakdown, Igby�s world has always been outwith his own control � expelled from every school in the state, drifting, lonely and cynical, his mother tries him at military academy where the bullying and abuse only serve to further his alienation. After stealing his mother�s credit card, the modern-day Holden Caulfiend escapes to New York, where he books into a hotel and meets Sukie (Clare Danes) a fellow jaded existentialist, at his mother�s ex-boyfriend�s (Jeff Goldblum) party. This is director Burr Steers first feature as writer and director and he pulls it off with aplomb. I�ve seen reviews which have harked on about unsympathetic characters but I disagree. Each character is multi-faceted, bursting with insecurities and played to perfection by the assembled cast. Kieran Culkin is perfect in the lead and will give brother Macauley a run for his money when �Party Monster� is released later this year. Sarandon and Goldblum ham it up gloriously and Philippe is delicious as ever. Bill Pullman conveys the tragedy of mental illness with very little dialogue in a brilliantly understated performance. The characterisation is brutally tender and personally miles more sympathetic than in the similar �The Royal Tenenbaums.� Even the minor players are colourful and well developed and add to what is an excellent, thoughtful, sadly hilarious peek into the lives of wealthy, dysfunctional Manhattanites Laura says: 8/10 
IRREVERSIBLE (CERT 18)
Gaspar No�s harrowingly addictive follow-up to the relentless Seul Contre Tous is one of the most haunting pieces of cinema I have ever seen. It is also the first film I�ve ever had to switch off for an hour and go do something reassuringly mundane to block out what I�ve just watched. The title refers to the underlying theme of fatalism. The best moments in our lives are culpable for the very worst. This is dealt with brilliantly by telling the story in reverse, the film opening with the closing credits, then working its way back to the beginning. The film charts the friendship between three characters � Amy (Monica Bellucci,) Marcus (Vincent Cassell,) Amy�s current boyfriend and her amenable (!) ex, Pierre (Albert Dupontel,) in reverse from it�s brutal ending. The film opens with Marcus, gripping a broken arm, being bundled out of Recturm � a gay sex club, into an ambulance. The hand-held camera swirls around overhead to a soundtrack of wailing and blaring sirens which continue for just long enough to have the viewer feeling unsettled and disturbed. The action then jolts you straight into the sex club, to the hellish scene that has just taken place. Marcus, snarling and insane with anger storms through the dark, hell-like club past flashes of increasingly depraved sex acts, desperately trying to find a pimp called Le Tenia. The handheld camera again makes the viewer queasy as it swoops relentlessly after him, at the back of Pierre who is trying to hold him back. When they finally track down Le Tenia, the viewer is suddenly subjected to a sickening arm-breaking scene followed by the most shocking murder scene I have ever encountered. This is where I had to switch off. It took days for the horrific images to leave my mind. I had to sleep with the night on that night. But I persevered� The film then follows the two men through their search for the club; their discovery Amy has been raped; the party they had been attending; Amy�s fight with Marcus and subsequent rape on her way home. For the duration of the 9 minute rape scene, the camera barely moves, making the viewer feel like they are actually there, doing nothing but watch, causing them to question themselves. Remarkably though, from this point, the film manages to soften and engage us with the three characters whose outcomes we already know, till its brilliant conclusion/beginning, unbelievably gives a feeling of hope, despite the films bookend � �Time destroys everything,� and the blaring strobe lights at the end. �Irreversible� is wildly powerful stuff, from one of cinema�s most subversive talents but, alas, I feel scared when I see it on the shelves of Blockbuster as the thought of certain people watching it scares the shit out of me. Laura says: 9/10 
L.I.E. (CERT 18)
LIE is the award-winning cinematic directorial debut of Michael Cuesta (director of the wonderful �Six Feet Under�). This beautiful, understatedly erotic film tells the story of Howie, a middle-class 15 year old whose mother has been killed in a car crash and father is too embroiled in his corrupt building company and new girlfriend, to show his son any attention. Howie gets his affection from his group of delinquent friends, in particular, the wonderfully androgynous Gary, who he has a crush on. Together, the boys burgle local houses as they plan their getaway to California. Despite Howie�s desire for his friend, he�s unaware that Gary is in fact a rent boy who sells himself to middle-aged men. Following their robbery of a local retired diplomat�s house, Howie�s already troubled life starts to fall apart. Gary runs away alone, BJ (Brian Cox) the man they robbed, turns out to be a predatory paedophile who�s been using Gary for years and is after pay-back for the robbery, Howie�s father is jailed, without Howie being aware he was under investigation. BJ begins grooming the boy � seducing him with kindness and the affection his father has starved him of and much of the latter tension of the film is based on the dichotomy between BJ�s predatory instincts and paternal feelings for the boy. The acting is first class. Brian Cox (both menacing and enticing) and Paul Franklin Dano subtle portrayal of Howie are utterly convincing and engaging. The early scenes between Howie and Gary are some of the most spot-on evocations of teenage desire I�ve ever seen. The film brings up many questions about sexuality and the need for affection, without preaching and really sticks in your mind. A tender, touching evocation of how unaware people often are of the full picture of their lives. Laura says: 7/10 
MY LITTLE EYE (CERT 18)
The opening scene clicks the viewer in to an internet advert seeking five contestants for a reality webcam to spend 6 months in an isolated house for one million pounds. If anyone leaves, everyone loses. We watch the big brother style video applications of the five, predictable contestants � the slut, the geek, the troubled waif, the hunk and the sensitive bloke. We watch them enter the house, and their first few months there, on grainy digital images broadcast from all over the house. Things move a bit slow at the start but the sense of watching and being watched is unnerving and effective. Things really start to kick in during the last weeks of their stay. An unseen force starts to bate them with their own insecurities and fears. The tension is quite unbearable in parts. I nearly switched off a few times as the growing gloom and increasingly oppressive camera work was really starting to give me the creeps. Managed to make it to the end though, by which time, the predictability of the plot and general corniness (suddenly the one no-one likes manages to get online by way of wiring his mobile to the telly. Yeah, sure�) was over-riding the clever shots and effects. Effectively chilling and truly played on my fear of the dark, but let down by a rather cheesy script and inevitable descent into standard slasher territory. Laura says: 6/10 
LA SPAGNOLA (CERT 15)
The film opens amidst a dust storm in 1960�s Australia. Lola, a fiery, tempestuous Spanish immigrant is shouting abuse at her husband, Ricardo, as he attempts to leave her for his blonde Australian lover, Wendy. Despite her lying in front of the car he�s just spent all their savings on, to stop him going, Ricardo escapes, leaving Lola and her ungainly fourteen year old daughter, Lucia, destitute. The film then follows Lola�s subsequent attempts at survival and revenge. She covers the house in cellophane, to protect it from the dust that heralded the end of her marriage. She scalps her daughter after catching her scratching her head, berating her for crying by telling her the tears will make her eyelashes fall out. Although the existence of the two women is bleak (Lola resorts to selling sex to feed them, the family pets are slaughtered and devoured, Lucia earns a paltry amount for translating for the lecherous local doctor) the vivacity of the lead character and vivid colour and humour, prevent the film from being too downbeat. It is a convincing and imaginative look at the lives of Spanish immigrants in 1960�s Australia based on scriptwriter, Anna Maria Monticelli�s own experiences. The hot Latino emotions juxtapose well against the barren, bleak Australian landscape. You feel for the characters, particularly daughter, Lucia�s deepening despair at her uncommunicative relationship with her mother. Lola is a survivor, but the increasingly desperate things she has to do to sustain this can make the viewer cringe at times (allowing an Italian immigrant to masturbate on her, in return for a piece of lamb, her home abortion via a skewer. Oh, and prepare to be put off courgettes forever.) Despite this though, La Spagnola is a colourful insight into the life of immigrants and an excellent study of a mother/daughter relationship being eaten away by poverty and circumstance. Laura says 5/10 
ABOUT SCHMIDT (CERT 15)
Jack Nicholson plays Warren Schmidt, a 66 year old insurance exec, castaway on a humiliating road trip into introspection, following his retiral and the death of his wife. The film opens in Schmidt�s sparse, clinical office where he sits quietly waiting for the clock to hit five for the last time in his working life. The retirement dinner that follows is excruciating in its false celebration of a life that has basically been routine, empty and pointless. You feel the tedium of the dinner as if you are there yourself, waiting for the speeches to stop, waiting for the fa�ade to finish. Nicholson barely utters a word in the first few scenes, but through his gloriously underplayed performance we sense his desperation. It�s not until Schmidt starts writing to Ndugu, a 6 year old Tazmanian boy who he is sponsoring, that the film really starts to kick in and Schmidt�s chronic, angry frustration finally finds its voice. This juxtaposition of his external unresponsiveness and internal rage work well against each other, although at first, the deliberately flat, stilted style takes a bit of getting used to. The conversations are not spruced up with one-liners. The dialogue is left bare and banal with nobody daring to say what they really mean. In Schmidt�s first letter to Ndugu, he suddenly explodes with loathing for his wife (June Squib,) realising he�s resented her every move for years. When she dies, soon after this, he realises he is utterly helpless, unable to take care of himself and chronically lonely. He takes to the road in the Winnebago they never got round to going anywhere in, in a bid to stop his estranged daughter (Hope Davis) marrying her mediocre mullet-headed husband to be, played with slimy verve by Dermot Mulroney. Nicholson finally acts his age with great aplomb. His previous wild-man image gives the film an added poignancy as we see him now heartbroken, old and alone on the road in his oversized motor-home. It�s also extremely refreshing to see such strong, well-written older characters. Kathy Bates is excellent as the mother-in-law to be, who tries to coax Schmidt out of his shell, only to have him run for his life. In the film�s most memorable scene, Schmidt sits on the roof of the Winnebago, pleading to the stars for his wife�s forgiveness. It is beautiful but hard to watch, which sort of sums up this wonderfully compassionate film. Laura says: 7/10 
CITY OF GOD (CERT 18)
From the electrifying opening scene, where a bunch of gun-toting adolescents pursue an escaped chicken through a Rio slum, this film feels like being locked in a speeding car, waiting for it to crash. Watching the camera sweep through the streets after the bird at ground level is one of the most exhilarating openings to a film I�ve experienced and it sums up the terror and inevitable destruction of the children in the film. The story, based on Paulo Lin�s fact-based novel, is told through a series of short stories and follows the lives of two very different boys, taking two very different paths through the hell on earth of the Cidade de Deus housing scheme. One - Rocket, dreams of being a photographer, the other, Li�l Dice (who evolves into Li�l Ze) is a terrifying, murderous, coke-dealing warlord by the age of eight. At the start of the film, he gets all the older kids involved in a mass robbery at the local brothel. When he�s relegated to look-out because of his age, he gets his own back by going to the brothel once they leave and murdering everyone inside. The lives here are absolutely hopeless. The only motivations seem to be revenge, resentment and self-preservation. Life is completely valueless. The media are terrified to go near the place, and the police keep well away, apart from turning up for the odd bribe. The only law here is to kill � your enemies, your potential enemies and anyone else who might get in the way. Juvenile crime is dealt with through killing the juveniles and the streets are subsequently littered with dead children. Every time you think it�s not going to be able to keep up the pace, it suddenly accelerates again. There were elements of many great films in there � Pulp Fiction�s time shifting, Goodfellas, Lord of the Flies, Short Cuts, Amores Perros, but City of God takes what it wants, subverts it and makes it better. I�ve always enjoyed films that make me feel like I�ve been kicked around in the gutter. This one felt like I�d be run over by a bus afterwards. A breathless, brutally touching abattoir of a movie. Laura says: 9/10 
DOGTOWN AND Z BOYS (CERT 15)
Perhaps I'd just read too many rave reviews about this film before seeing it. It's a fairly enjoyable documentary about how a group of hobo surfers from a dodgy part of LA revolutionised skateboarding into the multi-million dollar business it is today. Some great 70's footage of them surfing into a dilapidated pier, risking impalement in the name of machismo, interspersed with interviews with the gang today. I had no previous interest in surfing or skateboarding, but enjoyed finding out about surf board design etc. And, it must be said, it has a bloody marvellous soundtrack full of Thin Lizzy, Hendrix, Joe Walsh and T Rex. If you are into surfing and skateboarding, you will probably wet your pants watching this. I managed not to. If you want to have a look for yourself, click the link on the film's title for the official film website. Laura says: 6/10 
LOVELY AND AMAZING (CERT 15)
Brenda Blethyn is wonderfully restrained as Jane, mother of three self-absorbed daughters - Michelle (Catherine Keener), an unsuccessful artist in need of anger management courses, Elizabeth (Emily Mortimer) a confidence-less actress and Annie, a stroppy eight-year old adopted from a black crack addict to help qualm Jane's loneliness. A few weeks in the life of four extremely selfish women doesn't sound much fun, but the sharp script, great acting and a plot that keeps going the opposite way you think it will make this a quiet gem. A funny and sad dissection of the silent modern epidemic of low self-esteem. A strange cross between Todd Solondz's Happiness and Woody Allen at his most spot-on. Laura says: 8/10 
THE SHIPPING NEWS (Cert 15)
why does everyone I know hate this film? It's still doing the rounds and out on video. I expected the worst but was completely captivated from the opening frame. It made my forgive Kevin Spacey for being in nearly every film made in the US over the past 2 years (though he's apparently just ended his year off - yikes, look out! He's back) and even warm to him in a very intimate fashion. Also the best I've seen Dame Judi apart from Iris. Can't wait to see it on the big screen. Laura Says 8/10 IVANSXTC (Cert 18) Ivan Beckman - hotshot Holywood agent - has just died. His colleagues and clients assume the death is drug related and are all too busy thinking about their own lives and careers to really care. We then meet Ivan before his death - in his prime, gracious, dynamic, charismatic, and passionate about his work and the people he works for. Until the discovery of a spot on his lung (the real reason for his death) leads him to realise the ultimate loneliness and emptiness of his existence. After a life spent supporting and caring for other people, there is no-one he can look to for support in the empty, self-obsessed world he lives in. Danny Huston is remarkable as Ivan, a man whose need to constantly be smiling hides a silent, raging, despair. Peter Weller is also in top form as the smug, self destructive Don West. Stunningly original, depressing, poignant and unlike anything you'll ever have seen before. Laura Says: 8/10 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS (Cert 15) Josh Hartnett, tired of empty sexual encounters, gives up all aspects of sex for Lent, then inexplicably has an unprotected shag at the end. Mixed messages and 20-something banality made bearable only by Josh in his boxer shorts. To be honest, if Hartnett hadn't been the star of this tripe-fest, I wouldn't have touched it with a bargepole. Laura Says: 3/10 
TALK TO HER (Cert 18)
Almodovar in best ever form. One of these European films that makes you feel embarrassed to be British because it makes you realise why everyone knows we're repressed. A deeply touching film which moves on all sorts of levels - emotionally, intellectually, in the past, present and future. It gently probes our feelings about friendship, loneliness, communication, madness and silence. A true masterpiece. Laura Says: 9/10 
ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE MIDLANDS (Cert 12)
Love Shane Meadows. Wrote in fluorescent marker pen on the envelope of my Xmas cards the other year that everyone should see, and spread the word of, "A Room For Romeo Brass," one of the greatest films ever made. 24/7 was an amazing debut full-length film. Delighted at the media attention "Once Upon a Time." has been getting, as it will give Shane Meadows attention he well deserves. Great that "stars" got on board, a testament to how far and well respected Meadow's work is. In the end it sort of spoiled the film for me though. Famous character actors playing characters so similar to those that make them famous in the first place, detracts from the film. Rhys Ifans is great out of type but the 12 year old daughter character (Finn Atkins) steals the show. Rather clich�d but well worth seeing for this remarkable young actress and because Shane Meadows is still one of the best British directors around. USE IT AS A TRIGGER TO WATCH A ROOM FOR ROMEO BRASS AGAIN Laura says: 5/10 
LANTANA (Cert 15)
Based on Australian playwright, Andrew Bovell's play, 'Speaking in Tongues,' Lantana is a slow burning psychological drama about love, adultery, deceipt and the consequence of human actions. I enjoyed it while I was watching it, but none of it stayed with me for very long afterwards and after a few days, I couldn't even remember what it was about. I like Geoffrey Rush. That Quills film was a laugh. I'd probably shag him. Likewise that Joaquin Phoenix. He seems boring, but we could just make it quick, in a stair, or something. Kate Winslet was pretty slurpy as well. Lantana though. What was that again.? Laura says: 6/10 PANIC ROOM (Cert 15) The first rule of Panic Room is don�t talk about Panic Room. Otherwise, the fa�ade of hype that this stinker of a film received might fail to con people that they�re going to see a tense, psychological thriller. I was almost reluctant to see it, thinking it�s alleged claustrophobic pricking at the primal fear would prey on my own fear of being alone in the dark. This it did. As I sat, watching the whole laughable pile of tosh unfold, I was deeply afraid. That at any second I would involuntarily rise from my cinema chair and shout, �just shoot the stupid cow,� as Jodie Foster�s character makes one utterly unconvincing error of judgement after the other in her unenviable quest to keep the plot going. The means of cranking up the tension is achieved through one contrived cliff-hanger-moment-brought-about-by-people-not-finishing-their-sentences/bad lighting and the old locked doors trick, after another. This is the stuff that soap opera/pantomime is made of. Ok, so if Jodie had just told the burglars at the beginning her daughter needed her medication and to take whatever the hell they wanted (apart from the insulin) that wouldn�t have given her an excuse to arse her way through the next 95 minutes. She knew what they wanted was in the panic room. She hates the panic room from the moment the estate agent started waxing slimily about it before she moves in. She doesn�t even bother wiring the phone in there up properly (which would have taken her seconds, judging by the expertise she latterly displays in the BT engineer department). Surely though it would have been simpler to just open the bloody door than let them sledgehammer the house she only moved into that day to smithereens, put her daughter in repeated jeopardy of being maimed/pegging out or letting them beat her ex to a Singing Detective-like pulp. Not since Bjork�s walk to the electric chair over her inadequacy as a mother in Dancer in the Dark, have I watched such an example of a character so deliriously hopeless at childcare. She should just give up and foster the kid out to Sean Penn�s Sam. Don�t they have social services in Manhattan? A mother whose idea to escape from a confined space filling with Butane gas, is to set the cooker lighter to it. The same woman who asks her daughter�s father, whose just been half-beaten to death, �are you ok?� As the rest of the film isn�t shy to namecheck other movies, wasn�t it his moment to quote Marsallas Wallace�s line from Pulp Fiction�s, �I�m pretty fucking far from ok?� Jodie Foster is the same as she is in just about everything these days � wilfully intense, dull as ditch-water, painful on the eye and delicately breathless at times of stress. Kristen Stewart, as her daughter has the same androgynous, pinched features but neither have the chance to convince as mother/daughter, acting only as glum clones to help ferry the action along. Forrest Whittaker is over-rated and awful as ever. Since when did being fat, black and having a glass eye become the mark of a great actor. (Answer: Since Forrest dick-van-dyked his way through the Crying Game. Ghost Dog my arse!) Dwight Yokam is as convincing as Bluto was in Popeye. Jared Leto less so. As Hollywood�s animation has become more realistic, it�s mainstream human characters have gone the other way, descending into cut-outs that would make cariacatures seem well-rounded. Director David Fincher�s last offering, Fight Club was confrontational, subversive, twisted and brave. A joyously, thought-provoking film with which to begin/end the millennium. Granted though, Panic Room also made me think. Made me think how under-rated the Die Hard films were/that I should stop relying on film critics before deciding what to go and see/that Jodi Foster should, in her adulthood, do what she does best, ie, stick to directing (Little Man Tate maybe didn�t pack out cinemas, but it was worth a hundred pieces of facile, dreary cack such as this.) I wonder if I was reading reviews for the right film. Forrest Whittaker�s character is apparently meant to be sympathetic. Is that what piping Butane gas into a tiny room with a woman and child in it is called? Suppose American�s have a history of finding that sort of action heroic, though. And when Jared Leto says he�s had enough, it�s Whittaker�s character that�s greed won�t let him give in. What a guy. One word of praise. The titles at the beginning are fantastic, like neon signs fastened onto the swooping skyscrapers of Manhattan. They gave me the same rush of anticipation that I had watching the visceral, speedy titles at the start of Fight Club. Sadly, the similarities ended there. What came after was nothing more than a second-rate computer game of a film with some hammy acting, every clich� in the thriller book and unlikeable one-dimensional characters it was impossible to give a damn about. The absolute opposite of what makes Fight Club the iconic/ironic gem that it is.
Foster apparently took a paltry $12 million for starring. Couldn�t she just have split the cash between the three stooges and saved the poor audience wasting 108 minutes of their lives on this dowdy dog-fest? Yep, this one will have them screaming alright. For their money back. If you enjoyed Fight Club, do yourself a favour. Go and see Hire the Business of Strangers instead. Laura says: 2/10
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