1-800-SPUNK
by Sean McGahey

‘So why did you call this 1-800 SPUNK number?’

‘It’s my temporary escape from reality, forming mental pictures of a good time’

‘I usually go for something on the radio, like WPLC-FM 99.2, you’ve got to check out Kung-fu Eddie’

‘And you wonder why you’re a disaster with women.’

Clicking on the radio, the over enthusiastic presenter is live at some kind of accident.

‘A twelve year old boy has died from severe spinal injuries in a car crash in downtown LA. Police are investigating the cause of the crash, witnesses should contact. .’

Zoë is putting her coat on.

‘We’re leaving’

‘Are we?’

‘Yes, we’ve been invited to Studio 54. It’s featuring a gallery of black’n'white celebrity photographs. It’ll be the place to be, oh and were meeting a friend of mine.’

‘Do I know her?’

‘No, you don’t know him‘

We arrived early, and headed for the bar, where Zoë went into great detail on what she had done shortly after our relationship ended.

‘I recall whilst staying a few nights at the Royal Hotel in Kyoto, we filmed a post-modern slam fest Japan trip down from thirty hours of miniDV footage to ten minutes. Most of it shot on a Sony PD-150, with some of the hotel interiors shot on a TRV-70′

All of this was going straight over my head. I had to change the subject.

‘So what did you eat whilst abroad? I mean you were always fussy about your food?’

‘You should try the beautiful Teppanyaki with a chicken course, salad appetizer, salmon, pineapple, fried rice, soup and dessert. It was truly amazing! I had that every day! Are you still the lard eating burger fanatic?’

‘I’ve moved up in the world, steak and fried eggs.’

Awkward silence.

‘If you ever get to Japan you have to experience the famous bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto, in reserved seats of course.’

Awkward silence.

‘During my stay Yaida Hitomi’s agent gave me a Sharp Zaurus SL-C870 a special model made in Japan & a Sony DCR-HC30 miniDV Handy Cam.’

Awkward silence.

Again I tried to change the subject.

‘So what music are you into? Personally I’m into Joss Stone’

‘Oh that reminds me; Yaida Hitomi agreed to contribute 4 tracks off her new album! I just love her energetic style; anyway one night we went looking for a cool sushi restaurant, you know something cool for a happening crowd. We eventually met up Nagase Masatoshi and Jim Jamusch, you know? The guy who put together the cult classic ‘Mystery Train’? Anyway Nagase has a fucking ace reputation as one of the world’s best guitarists! He gave me one of his guitars! Can you believe it?’

I suddenly felt so insignificant, a meaningless spot on the face of boredom. She’s talking, not at me or with me, she’s just talking. I was tempted to look for a ring pull or cord like the one you find on a talking doll; no such luck.

© Sean McGahey
Reproduced with permission

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